In countless viral posts, parents are sharing footage of their toddlers crying in a familiar loop. Then, their mom or dad says something like, “Hey, Jessica’s here,” or “Where’s Jessica?” As if by magic, the child stops wailing—and starts looking around.
“This tactic works by breaking that cycle through redirection,” explains Madison Szar, MD, FAAP, with Bluebird Kids Health.
Essentially, parents distract their kiddos by introducing a completely new idea, giving them something else to focus on, and interrupting the emotional loop they’re stuck in.
It’s important for parents to know that redirection of emotion during a tantrum is not a substitute for connection—an important part of helping kids handle big feelings. Dr. Szar urges parents to be sure to check in with little ones once their feelings have de-escalated post-tantrum. You might say, “I’m sorry you were upset. I love you.”