But at the beginning of creation God “made them male and female.” “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. –Mark 10:6-9
A few years ago my husband and I watched as a half-dozen friends hit the 10-year mark in their marriages and were struggling. Most of them began couples counseling in attempt to “save” their marriages. A few came out of their difficult period wanting to make things work and were better off than before. The others came out of counseling deciding nothing could be done to save their marriages and these ended in divorce.
As my husband and I walked through these times with our friends, we decided that perhaps we should seek counseling in our 9th year of marriage in an effort to get ahead of this “10-year unrest.” We considered the options and decided there would be benefits of getting counseling before our marriage was in trouble rather than after. And so, we began counseling.
Marriage is a beautiful covenant God created when he first joined Adam and Eve. It is a relationship meant for intimacy and partnership with one another, and together with God. It is based on mutual love, respect, and commitment. It is a sacred commitment. These days, the statistics are not good regarding the percentage of marriages that will stay together. Marriages need help to survive!
My car dealership reminds me to bring my car in for a tune up every 15,000. Once a year, I have my furnace serviced, my grass fertilized, and my sprinklers checked. For all these, I make the time to be sure they are in working order. They are expensive to replace so I want to make sure they work properly. Marriages are much more valuable than cars or furnaces, and as such, deserve more attention and maintenance! But far too many couples do not seek any preventative maintenance. I am not suggesting that everyone should go for marital counseling tomorrow, but if a marriage is neglected it won’t work right and runs the risk of breaking down. Our marriages need to be invested in and taken care of in order to work well. And when we do so, we honor God.
1. What would it look like in your marriage to do a “tune up”?
2. What acts of kindness could you perform today as a way to demonstrate to your spouse that you desire to invest in your relationship?
A STEP CLOSER:
Discuss as a couple what areas of your marriage may most be in need of some “tuning up.” Together, consider the possibility of seeing a marriage counselor for the purpose of “preventative maintenance.” If counseling isn’t feasible or needed, be sure to spend some time talking through your “tune up” issues.