#DadMatters

I love this blog about Dads. Jeff Hamilton is a friend, a pastor and leads Dad Academy. For an excellent resource on raising courageous, capable and confident kids, click here.

#DadMatters

On March 1, 1996, I entered a new season of life as I held my newborn baby boy. My wife Jayme and I had taken some parenting classes to help prepare us for the first few months with a newborn. But as I felt the weight of holding my son in my arms, my soul felt another weight – that of immense responsibility. I remember feeling overwhelming love and joy, followed by a serious concern about my ability to be a dad. Those same feelings appeared again on May 5, 1998 when my daughter was placed in my arms.

In the fall of 1999, my wife and I relocated across the country for work. I needed to find a way to supplement my income until the startup I was founding got off the ground. I also wanted to find a way to build relationships in our new community. So, I found a flexible job with a well-known coffee shop chain. But my first day on the job wasn’t at the store. Instead, it was in a classroom where I spent the next week learning about coffee and the culture of the company.

Let me connect some dots in the story…I was required to undergo forty hours of training before I was qualified to push the “brew” button on the automated coffee maker in the store, but the doctor just handed me my babies and wished me good luck? There had to be a better way.

I had an advantage over most men. My wife and I were both raised with loving dads who were great examples of what a father should be. And while neither of them would say they were perfect, their consistent presence in our lives gave us confidence in our identity and abilities.  

The first decade of my career was spent working with adolescents and their families. I saw the struggles that many families experienced first-hand as they navigated the challenges of the pre-teen and teenage years. I witnessed the impact that unhealthy marriages have on children and the effect of dads not being present in the home. I also saw families that were winning at home. Much of that had to do with a father’s presence and engagement in the lives of his children. Research validates the significance of a dad’s place in the life of his kids. A father’s presence provides children the greatest advantage for success in every area of their life – socially, emotionally, even academically.

When a man adds purpose and intention to his presence, the impact he has on his family increases exponentially. I had a mental catalogue of things to do and not to do as a dad through the various seasons of life that my kids experienced. While I did my best, I was far from perfect. What I did try to be as a father was to be an intentional one. And I watched my children grow into independent, confident young adults.

A man once said, “Being a father is the most important thing I will ever do and if I don’t do this well, no other thing I do really matters.” It’s proven that in the lives of children and in communities that #dadmatters. You, Dad, matter. So let’s get to work in changing our families….for good.