Help Kids Identify Toxic Friendships

It’s not enough for parents to point out that a friend is unhealthy, and if we push too hard, it can lead to our kids staying in those relationships just to prove they can make their own choices.

 So here are some unique ways you can help them come to their own conclusions about the health of their friendships.

 1)    Check how their body feels after spending time with that friend. Kids can’t always understand their feelings, but they can identify when their body feels tense, their stomach aches, and they are exhausted after spending time with that friend. So, if you start seeing a pattern of headaches, stomach issues, and body aches, point out that our bodies tell us when things aren’t right, even if our heads don’t recognize it. Here is an example of how to check in on their bodies: “Hey, did you know that our bodies can tell us how we feel? Have you noticed that after having sleepovers at Lisa’s house, you get headaches and are more irritable? Do you think your body is trying to tell you something? What do you think it means?”

 2)   Use media as examples. When watching movies or TV shows, identify both healthy and unhealthy friendships. Highlight what a good friend does and how healthy friendships make people feel secure, happy, and brave to risk being authentic. Then, ask how their current friendships measure up. Focus on both the positives and negatives of those friends.

3)   Get your kids involved in activities where they can meet other friends. Exposure to opportunities to make new friends helps our kids develop new relationships and encourages them not to settle for friends that are not good for them. Whether it is art classes, band, karate, or sports leagues, find ways to help your kids explore new interests and make new friends.

Parent reminder: Our role as parents is to support, coach, and empower them to make healthy decisions. This means we sometimes will have to allow our kids to make decisions that are not in their best interest. Instead of pushing what we know is best for them, which can lead to their rebellion, we allow their choices for them to learn and mature. So, use the above examples as conversation starters to plant seeds of healthy friendships and be a safe place your kids can come to when they are struggling.

This article first appeared here.