Size Matters: 25 Ways to Go Small

During the junior high years, every male learns the phrase “size-matters,” and it becomes the source of many male-oriented jokes and innuendos long into adulthood.

Let me set the record straight… size DOES matter. Research points to the fact that women prefer small. Wives prefer their husbands become proficient at mastering small, but meaningful acts of service. Small acts of kindness, service, and initiative all add up to being a big deal.

Marriages grow distant because one or both spouses stopped doing the small things that really matter. It was the accumulation of “little things” that led to big problems, and it’s also the little things that can lead to big change.

I was doing some research on a speaking series, and I asked wives (via Twitter/Facebook) this question: “Ladies, what are little things that make a big difference in marriage?”

Here are 25 answers they provided:

  1.  Taking initiative… seeing what needs to be done and doing it.
  2.  Knowing my favorite radio station and turning it on when I’m in the car.
  3.  Occasionally surprising me and bringing home my favorite drink.
  4.  Randomly making our bed while I’m showering/getting ready.
  5.  Holding the baby when he gets home from work.
  6.  Turning off the TV/putting down the phone.
  7.  Compliment me about the job I do with the kids.
  8.  Tell me I’m pretty even when I’m not dressed all fancy.
  9.  Noticing when I’ve changed my hair or am wearing something new.
  10. Calling me during his day just to ask how I’m doing.
  11. Bringing me small, inexpensive gifts.
  12. Writing cards with words of love (I’ll treasure these forever, seriously.)
  13. Helping out with chores without me having to ask.
  14. Leaving his stuff where I ask him to leave it.
  15. Leaving me alone when I’m reading a good book.
  16. Plan a surprise date (even a FREE picnic would be fine.)
  17. Watch a few minutes of a TV show he doesn’t like just to be with me.
  18. 18. Surprise me and drive the kids to school for me.
  19. Listen, even when you’re tired.
  20. Tell me you prayed for me.
  21. Call on your way home to see if you can pick anything up.
  22. Be my cheerleader in front of the kids/friends.
  23. Occasionally, empty the dishwasher.
  24. Listen to me without being on the laptop or phone.
  25. Hang up your clothes.

These are SMALL ideas! Wives are not asking their husbands to: (1) cure cancer, (2) paint the house, (3) write a book on why you love her.

Husbands, refresh your marriage by doing some of the small actions that we know we ought to be doing that we’re not doing.

When you set out on a journey and you get off track by a small amount…over a long period of time you’ll radically miss your destination. I know many marriages have missed their intended marriage destination!

Pay attention to your marriage and get back on course by doing the small things today.

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Doug Fields

Doug Fields is the senior director of HomeWord. He speaks to thousands of leaders, teenagers and parents each year. He’s also the author/co-author of 50+ books including: Parenting in a Screen Saturated Culture; Intentional Parenting; 7 Ways to be Her Hero – the One Your Wife Has Been Waiting For; and To Have and To Hold. In addition to Doug’s speaking and writing, he is also the co-founder of and the youth pastor at Mariners Church. Doug has been married for more than 35 years to his wonderful wife Cathy, and they live near their 3 married children and 3 grandchildren in Southern California.

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