How About a Weekly Time for Spiritual Intimacy with Your Spouse?

How About a Weekly Time for Spiritual Intimacy with Your Spouse?

The least developed area of intimacy for most couples is spiritual intimacy. It is a strong felt need but for many reasons we just never get around to making the commitment to work on this area of life. Is it busyness? Is it lack of priority? Is it that it’s hard to have spiritual intimacy when there is low level anger? The answer is yes, it could be some or all of these. Years ago, Cathy and I developed a simple exercise that doesn’t take a lot of time but can be the breakthrough you may need to grow together spiritually.

How about setting 20 minutes aside on a weekly basis to have a spiritually connecting conversation. Here are 7 things you can talk about that can strongly enhance your spiritual intimacy:

1. Review your recent quiet-times and devotional life.

Share with each other what you’ve been doing and learning in regard to your personal times with the Lord and what you’ve been learning and experiencing.

2. Share your greatest joy of the week.

Sometimes life gets so hectic—with your spouse and family going in what seems like a million different directions—that you may not have had the opportunity to share your greatest joy with your spouse. This meeting provides a time where your spouse can catch up with the joys you have experienced.

3. Share your greatest struggle of the week.

Here’s the flipside of the coin, if you will. Still, sharing your struggles with your spouse is equally important as sharing your joys. Hang in there though, because sometimes, as I have learned, the greatest struggle your spouse has experienced can be you.

4. Share an affirmation of your spouse.

I believe strongly that affirming your spouse (and receiving affirmation) is tremendously important in developing spiritual intimacy with one another!

5. Share a wish or a hope for yourself or your family.

This helps you to focus on your spouse’s needs and desires. Often, I’ve found that I can be part of the process that allows Cathy to realize her wish or hope.

6. Share physical goals for yourself.

Cathy and I try not to neglect the physical issues when it comes to having a balanced life. Sharing our physical goals with one another helps provide an avenue of accountability.

7. Pray Together.

Once you’ve shared on all of the above topics, you’ll be ready to pray – and you’ll have some very specific issues to pray about.

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Jim Burns

Jim Burns is the president of HomeWord. He speaks to thousands of people around the world each year. He has close to 2 million resources in print in 20 languages. He primarily writes and speaks on the values of HomeWord, which are: Strong Marriages, Confident Parents, Empowered Kids, and Healthy Leaders. Some of his most popular books are: Confident Parenting, The Purity Code, Creating an Intimate Marriage, Closer, and Doing Life with Your Adult Children. Jim and his wife, Cathy, live in Southern California and have three grown daughters, Christy, Rebecca, and Heidi; three sons-in-law, Steve and Matt, and Andy; and three grandchildren, James, Charlotte and Huxley.

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