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Jim Burns’ book, Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out, offers valuable insights and practical advice for parents navigating the complex relationship with their grown children. This book addresses the challenges and opportunities that come with parenting adult children, recognizing that this stage of parenting often lasts longer than raising young children.
Key Principles
Burns presents nine core principles for effectively managing relationships with adult children:
- Adapting your parental role
- Avoiding unsolicited advice
- Understanding your child’s culture
- Encouraging independence
- Transitioning from dependence to independence
- Allowing children to take responsibility
- Promoting financial independence
- Maintaining a non-judgmental stance
- Embracing grandparenthood as a legacy
Practical Wisdom
The book offers practical wisdom on various aspects of parenting adult children:
Changing Dynamics: Burns emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and adapting to the changing parent-child relationship as children grow into adulthood1.
Communication: The author stresses the value of keeping “your mouth shut and the welcome mat out,” highlighting the importance of listening more and advising less3.
Financial Independence: The book addresses the goal of helping adult children achieve financial responsibility and independence1.
Cultural Awareness: Burns encourages parents to be mindful of their adult children’s cultural context and how it may differ from their own.
Testimonials
“If you have kids, and they’re grown-up, or you think they might grow up, you gotta get this book. This is center cut-wisdom and prime guidance on how to make your life a blessing to people you love most.”- JOHN ORTBERG, Pastor
“Jim Burns never ceases to amaze me. Yet another practical, encouraging book that you will turn to repeatedly to help you better love, listen to, and laugh with your young adult children.” – KARA POWELL, Executive Director, The Fuller Youth Institute
“Healthy family relationships are the pearls of life; this book will help you not only to discover that but also to recover what may have gotten lost along the way.” – DR. WAYNE CORDEIRO, President, New Hope Christian College
“This helpful, practical, and at times profoundly insightful book will help you either save or build your relationship with your grown children. You’ll be immensely grateful you read it.”- CAREY NIEUWHOF, Founding Pastor of Connexus Church, Canada
“If you have adult children (or you are about to), don’t miss out on this timely message. It’s inspirational, grounded, and immeasurably practical. We can’t recommend it enough.”– DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT, Authors of Saving your Marriage Before it Starts
“Jim Burns lives where you and I do. I love his practical, common-sense but biblical counsel. And he has a sense of humor to help us in the tough spots.”- RUTH GRAHAM, Author of In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart
“Relating to adult children can be one of life’s greatest challenges. For all who are looking for practical help, this book is a must read.”- GARY CHAPMAN, Author of The Five Love Languages
“In his latest book, Jim Burns offers practical, down-to-earth wisdom for the mom or dad who wants to journey through this transition in a healthy, biblically based way.”- JIM DALY, President, Focus on the Family
“Jim Burns provides great solutions at several levels: engaging and vulnerable stories, biblical principles, and specific skills. You will change the way you relate to your adult kids for the better.”- DR. JOHN TOWNSEND, Founder, The Townsend Institute of Leadership and Counseling