This is the 2nd of a 3 weeks series where every Monday, the blog articles will be taken from Doug Fields and my new book, The First Few Years of Marriage. We love the book and our dream is for couples in their first few years of marriage to build a healthy foundation in their marriage that will last forever. If you are past the first few years, we think these articles will relate to everyone. We hope you will consider buying the book for yourself or a gift for someone in the first few years.
Are We Having Fun Yet?
One evening my (Jim’s) daughter Heidi came home from babysitting for a couple Cathy and I have known since they were in our youth group many years ago. Cathy and I were sitting at the kitchen table paying bills when Heidi bounced in, sat down, and announced, “I love Scott and Anita and their kids. I had no idea you guys were their youth leaders when they were in high school.” At that point she paused with a look of confusion on her face. “They also said you guys used to be fun and funny.” Her facial expression basically said, “How long ago was that, and what happened?”
Oh, my, that statement hurt! After she left the room, I looked at Cathy and said, “You know, we really were more fun back in those days. We’ve drifted from fun and have become too serious. We need to reinvent ourselves and get back to having more fun.”
Cathy agreed but didn’t want to start until after we finished paying the bills.
That night became a turning point for us because we made a conscious choice to start having more fun with our family and, particularly, in our marriage. I knew we needed to make some course corrections immediately, or we’d be stuck in the same old rut, and fun would be just another good idea disappearing in our rearview mirror.
The next night, Cathy and I wrote down several fun things we could do as a family over the next six months, and we made another list of what Cathy and I could do as a couple. We then instituted Monday funday and intentionally started including more fun activities in our lives.
What Cathy and I learned, I pass on to you before your fun drift happens. Sometimes a couple simply must stop, drive a stake of commitment into the ground, and become proactive about developing the fun factor in their marriage.