Are We Having Fun Yet?

This is the 2nd of a 3 weeks series where every Monday, the  blog articles will be taken from Doug Fields and my new book, The First Few Years of Marriage. We love the book and our dream is for couples in their first few years of marriage to build a healthy foundation in their marriage that will last forever. If you are past the first few years, we think these articles will relate to everyone. We hope you will consider buying the book for yourself or a gift for someone in the first few years.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

One evening my (Jim’s) daughter Heidi came home from babysitting for a couple Cathy and I have known since they were in our youth group many years ago. Cathy and I were sitting at the kitchen table paying bills when Heidi bounced in, sat down, and announced, “I love Scott and Anita and their kids. I had no idea you guys were their youth leaders when they were in high school.” At that point she paused with a look of confusion on her face. “They also said you guys used to be fun and funny.” Her facial expression basically said, “How long ago was that, and what happened?”

Oh, my, that statement hurt! After she left the room, I looked at Cathy and said, “You know, we really were more fun back in those days. We’ve drifted from fun and have become too serious. We need to reinvent ourselves and get back to having more fun.”

Cathy agreed but didn’t want to start until after we finished paying the bills.

That night became a turning point for us because we made a conscious choice to start having more fun with our family and, particularly, in our marriage. I knew we needed to make some course corrections immediately, or we’d be stuck in the same old rut, and fun would be just another good idea disappearing in our rearview mirror.

The next night, Cathy and I wrote down several fun things we could do as a family over the next six months, and we made another list of what Cathy and I could do as a couple. We then instituted Monday funday and intentionally started including more fun activities in our lives.

What Cathy and I learned, I pass on to you before your fun drift happens. Sometimes a couple simply must stop, drive a stake of commitment into the ground, and become proactive about developing the fun factor in their marriage.

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Jim Burns and Doug Fields

Jim Burns and Doug Fields

Jim Burns is the President of HomeWord and the Executive Director of the HomeWord Center for Youth and Family at Azusa Pacific University. Jim speaks to thousands of people around the world each year. He has close to 2 million resources in print in 30 languages. He primarily writes and speaks on the values of HomeWord which are: Strong Marriages, Confident Parents, Empowered Kids, and Healthy Leaders. Some of his most popular books are: Confident Parenting, The Purity Code, Creating an Intimate Marriage and Closer. Jim and his wife, Cathy live Southern California and have three grown daughters, Christy, Rebecca and Heidi. Doug Fields is the senior director of HomeWord Center for Youth and Family and the cofounder of Download Youth Ministry. He speaks to thousands of leaders, teenagers, parents, and couples each year, and is the author or coauthor of more than 60 books. Doug has been married for 32 years to his wonderful wife, Cathy, and they have three grown children.

  • About HomeWord

    HomeWord helps families succeed by creating Biblical resources that build strong marriages, confident parents, empowered kids and healthy leaders. Founded by Jim Burns and supported by Doug Fields, HomeWord and Azusa Pacific University have partnered to form The HomeWord Center for Youth and Family. Learn More »

  • About Azusa Pacific University

    APU is a leading Christian college ranked as one of the nation’s best by U.S. News & World Report and The Princeton Review. Located near Los Angeles in Southern California, APU is a Christian university offering associate’s, bachelor’s, master's, doctoral, and degree completion programs, both on campus and online. Learn More »

  • Contact Information

    • HomeWord
      PO Box 1600
      San Juan Capistrano, CA
      92693

    • Send us an email

    • 800-397-9725
      (M-F: 8:30am-5pm PST)

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