Are You a Jesus Coach to Your Kids?

A few years ago, my doctor didn’t tell me to begin mountain biking, but he did say, “You’ve better find some type of exercise program that you like or you’re going to die.” (I’m not sure those were his exact words, but they’re close.) Then, I was dumb enough to tell my wife what my doctor said and she told me, “If you don’t find an exercise program you like, I may kill you before you have a chance to die.” So, with that external motivation, I sent an email to some mountain bike-friends and asked if anyone had a spare bike I could borrow to get me started.

Fast forward to today: I now own a bike (I bought one from a buddy), I have a helmet, shoes, clothes, gloves, and most of the gear that is “required” for this sport. Basically, I have everything needed except for…the needed skills and personal coaching.

After my first ride, I realized mountain biking is not like the type of bike riding I did when I was a kid. It’s not “jump on bike and ride all day.” It’s much different! In addition to the extreme terrain, there are so many moving parts that add to the confusion: 3 front sprockets, 5 or 6 back sprockets (I can’t remember), 2 brake levers, and 4 shifting systems. I’ve developed decent cardio conditioning, but I desperately need coaching to get answers to my questions.

Even as I ride these days, I think about how little I know about this sport/hobby. I really need a coach/mentor. I have so many technical questions. I’m not always sure when is the best time shift on different slopes. I apparently have a tubeless tire that I wouldn’t know how to fix if I got a flat. I have front shocks that need to be adjusted based on the terrain and I don’t have the slightest idea what to do. I know I’m supposed to clean my bike, but there are so many different products at the bike store that I’m not sure which one to use. Basically, my list of “how-to” questions could fill pages.

As I was riding and thinking about my need for a coach/mentor, I began to think about the teenagers represented in our homes and the process of faith development. What are we doing with all their questions? Do we even know the questions they’re asking (or not asking)? Or, do we assume they’ll catch everything about Jesus as they begin their “ride with him”?

Much like I need a riding coach, teenagers need a “Jesus coach.” While mountain biking is much more complex than “jump on a bike”… so is following Jesus much more complex than a simple “go to church.”

I still try to ride a couple times a week, tinkering around at the local bike shop, reading magazines and websites to try to find coaching tips, downloading trail guides to my iPhone, and asking a lot of questions…AND, I’m still confused, frustrated, and wanting someone to coach me. I want someone else to care enough to care about me.

Could it be that we, as parents, have become good at getting teenagers to go to church…but we’re not so good at coaching them on how to walk with Jesus? I fear that if they don’t know how to walk with Jesus when they graduate from high school and go on to college and their adult lives, they will also graduate away from church and perhaps even Jesus.

Here are some questions for parents to consider:

  1. Do your kids know that you want to coach them in the ways of Jesus?
  2. When your kids leave home, will they know that there is a caring, loving, and available adult who wants the best for them?
  3. Do they know they can ask the dumbest and most simple questions and have confidence that there are people who will care enough not to laugh at their questions?
  4. Do they know that in Mom and/or Dad, they have someone to “ride with” even though they struggle and occasionally fall?

If you answer yes to these questions… way to go! Those teenagers are blessed.

If your answer is “no” or “I’m not sure”… what you can change in your parenting style to become a more effective Jesus coach?

How do they know that they are a valued, young follower of Jesus who needs a little help with the call of Jesus to “follow me”?

Jesus spent most of his time with the few. Yes, he spoke to and fed the masses, but his most common audience was the few. I’d like to suggest that your “few” are living within the walls of your home.

They don’t need to be told to “go to church,” they need you…a coaching, listening, loving, and caring you.

Walking with Jesus is an adventure… but it’s one that requires more help and coaching than we realize. Will you take up the challenge of being a Jesus coach to your kids?

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Doug Fields

Doug Fields

Doug is the senior director of HomeWord Center for Youth and Family. Doug speaks to thousands of leaders, teens and parents each year. Doug provides leadership and resources as a part of the Youth Specialties Team. He has authored 50 books and blogs at Download Youth Ministry. Doug, Cathy and their three children live in Southern California.

  • About HomeWord

    HomeWord helps families succeed by creating Biblical resources that build strong marriages, confident parents, empowered kids and healthy leaders. Founded by Jim Burns and supported by Doug Fields, HomeWord and Azusa Pacific University have partnered to form The HomeWord Center for Youth and Family. Learn More »

  • About Azusa Pacific University

    APU is a leading Christian college ranked as one of the nation’s best by U.S. News & World Report and The Princeton Review. Located near Los Angeles in Southern California, APU is a Christian university offering associate’s, bachelor’s, master's, doctoral, and degree completion programs, both on campus and online. Learn More »

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