Help Kids Identify Toxic Friendships

Paige Clingenpeel is one of my favorite people on the planet. I LOVE her new podcast sponsored by HomeWord. It’s called Embracing Your Season: Parenting the Littles and Understanding Teens. Paige is one of the most authentic people I know and I have listened to all of her podcasts. Okay, I’m a fan! If you haven’t had a chance to tune in here is a link. Caution you will probably become a fan too. When I was a youth pastor, I used to tell the students all the time, “You become like the people you hang around with.” In this blog, Paige gives some great insight on helping your kids identify toxic friendships. This is good stuff. You can learn more about Paige at her website.

Help Kids Identify Toxic Friendships

IT’s not enough for parents to point out a friend is unhealthy to be a part of. And if we push too hard it can lead to our kids staying in those relationships just to prove they can make their own choices. So here are some ways you can help them to come to their own conclusions about the health of their friendships.

• Check in on how their body feels after spending time with that friend. Kids can’t always understand their feelings, but they can identify when their body feels tense, their stomach aches, and they are exhausted after spending time with that friend. So if you start seeing a pattern of headaches, stomach issues, body aches, point out that our bodies tell us when things aren’t right even if our heads don’t recognize it. Here is an example of how to check in on their bodies “Hey did you know that our bodies can tell us how we feel? Have you noticed that after having sleep overs at Lisa’s house you get headaches, and are more irritable? Do you think your body is trying to tell you something? What do you think it means?”

• Use media as examples. When watching movies or tv shows, identify both healthy and unhealthy friendships. Highlight what a good friend does, and how healthy friendship make people feel secure, happy, and even brave to risk being their authentic selves. Then ask how their current friendships measure up. Focus on both the positives and negatives of those friends.

• Get your kids involved in activities where they can meet other friends! Exposure to opportunities to make new friends helps our kids not only develop new relationships but also encourages them to not settle for friends that are not good for them. Whether it is art classes, band, karate, or sports leagues, find ways to help your kids to explore new interests and make new friends.