SESSION 7: Now What?

Doing Life With Adult Children

Lastly, we will round out our time together and leave you with some closing thoughts; a pep talk of sorts. Thank you for investing in your relationship with your kids, “It’s worth it!”

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Well, we’ve had some really great conversations together about doing life with your adult children, and I hope this has been helpful and encouraging as you seek to grow in your new role. And I hope you’ve been able to start applying some of these principles.

To round out our time together I want to leave you with some closing thoughts, a pep talk of sorts. First of all, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for your dedication to making this relationship with your adult children as healthy as it can be, and if you weren’t committed to that end, then I don’t think you would have gone through this process and put in the time to learn new approaches and principles to relating to and loving your children as well. For this, I commend you now.

Secondly, I want you to know that your life and your wisdom and your experiences and your faithful love toward your children is important and it’s valuable. It is seen and appreciated even in moments where it may not feel like it. This new relationship is not a sprint. It’s a marathon, much like most of the worthwhile things we do in life. So, don’t be discouraged if you don’t see immediate progress or fast results. Your heart is known by your creator, and he is telling you even now, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

Now lastly, I want to challenge you with this challenge that’s printed on the cover of my book. Keep your mouth shut and the welcome mat out. You may need to repeat that to yourself multiple times a day because it is definitely easier said than done. Trust me, I know. I speak from experience. I haven’t done this perfectly every time, and so this challenge is as much for me as it is for you, but you want to know what else you could trust me on? It’s worth it. Every time you choose to remain silent, every time you choose to listen, with openness, every instance where you welcome your child when you could easily, and even justifiably, show them where they messed up, every thoughtful encounter is investing into an abundance of more trust and willingness from your child to invite you in. And there’s nothing more beautiful than a relationship that operates out of abundance.

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This contains the teaching outline and personal reflection exercise.

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<h1 class="p1">SESSION 7: Now What? </h1>
<h3 class="p2">Welcome to the Interactive Digital Session Guide</h3>
We created this guide to help you process and personalize Jim’s content. It contains two sections: Notes and Personal Reflection.
Use the first section to take your own notes during the video. Your notes are private and no one else can read them. We have also provided a downloadable PDF if you would like to print them.
Work through the questions in the second section at your own pace. We suggest you spend at least 15 minutes. The goal isn’t to finish quickly; instead, consider how these principles might impact your parenting and your life.
<h3></h3>
<h3></h3>
<h3 class="p6">Notes</h3>
Keep Your _______ _______, and the _______ _______ _______. 
<h3></h3>
<h3></h3>
<h3 class="p6">Personal Reflection</h3>
How has this experience been helpful to you personally? 
What are key takeaway points from Doing Life with Adult Children? 
For the 9 principles of Doing Life with Your Adult Child, which one was most challenging? Most hopeful?
<ul>
<li class="p10">Principle One: Your Role as Their Parent Must Change</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Two: Unsolicited Advice Is Usually Taken as Criticism</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Three: You Can’t Ignore Your Child’s Culture</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Four: They Will Never Know How Far the Town Is If You Carry Them on Your Back</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Five: Move Them from Dependence to Independence</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Six: You Can’t Want It More Than They Want It</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Seven: Financial Independence and Responsibility is the Goal</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Eight: Wear Beige and Keep Your Mouth Shut</li>
<li class="p10">Principle Nine: Being a Grandparent May Be Your Greatest Legacy</li>
</ul>
In the afterword of the book, Doing Life with Your Adult Children, Jim mentions four suggestions for every parent of an adult child: 
<ul>
<li class="p10">Develop a well-thought-out plan.</li>
<li class="p10">Parent in community, not on an island.</li>
<li class="p10">Practice the principles in this book, but realize life is messy. </li>
<li class="p10">Trust that God is on your side. </li>
</ul>
Though it doesn’t always feel like it, your love toward your adult children is seen and appreciated. Describe a time when you felt appreciated by your adult children. Whether it was a kind word or a special gift, how did they show their gratitude?
Jim says the relationship you have with your adult child(ren) is not a sprint; it’s a marathon—as is the case for everything worthwhile in life. How is this truth evident in your other relationships?
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<h3 class="p3">SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING</h3>
This section is for those who would like to think about the content from a Christian point of view. 
 “Be KIND and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, even as in Christ, God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) 
Kindness matters. Kindness in a relationship can melt relational walls. How can you show acts of kindness to your adult child? 
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27)
Apparently rain and storms come to all people at one time or another. How can building your relationship with your adult child on the rock keep it from crashing? 
“Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:23)
God sees your commitment to making your relationship with your adult child a healthy one—a relationship that operates out of abundance. Hear him say to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” How can these words be a comfort to you?

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SESSION 7: Now What?

Doing Life With Adult Children

Status: In Progress

Welcome to the interactive Digital Session Guide