Holidays or Holi-Dazed? Preparing for the Holiday Season

Here it comes, right on cue! The calendar has just turned to November, Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner, and yes, Christmas commercials are already appearing on television, store halls are all decked with holly, and your kids may be dreaming of finding a new iPhone 13 under the tree on Christmas morning.

For many of us, the holiday season is a time that is anticipated with both joy and anxiety. Sure, we love the celebrations, the family traditions, and we cherish the memories of holidays gone by; but along with them, we add the stresses of preparation, expectations and the fear of letdowns, or family squabbles that we have experienced in the past. In a real sense, many of us are looking straight into the face of the holi-daze, not the holidays. With this in mind, here are ten tips I feel can help to restore some sanity to your family, and hopefully make for an enjoyable, meaningful holiday season in 2021.

1. Set manageable expectations. Spend some time now setting realistic and manageable expectations for your holiday season. Start by understanding that you can’t do everything. So, be realistic and upfront about what your family can do. Make a list of what is possible and prioritize your most important events and activities for you and your family. Then, pace yourself. Organize your time. Keep in mind that it’s the holiday “season” (not “day”) and spread out your activities to lessen stress and increase enjoyment.

2. Remember the holiday season does not eliminate sadness or loneliness. Old problems and difficulties continue and new ones can arise during the holiday season. And, for some, the holiday season evokes painful memories from recent events or the loss of loved ones in the past. Give room for yourself and your family to experience and express these feelings. But, try not to let them become a consuming focus. Make an effort to work through present challenges and conflicts.

3. Acknowledge the past, but look toward the future. To one extent or another, everyone has been impacted by the pandemic and its effects are ongoing. So, it’s important to remember that life brings changes. Each season of life is different. Determine to enjoy this holiday season for what it is. Acknowledging the past, whether it was good or bad, is appropriate. But, if you find that this year has been a rough one and you don’t anticipate having the best holiday season ever, try not to set yourself up for disappointment by comparing today with the “before times.” Take advantage of the joys the present holiday season has to offer.

4. Develop and encourage a life of gratitude. See my article “The Importance of Giving Thanks.”

5. Do something for someone else. One of the ways we can demonstrate that we are grateful to God for His many blessings is to help others. Even if this has been a difficult year for you and your family, helping others will actually help you too, as your focus will move from your own circumstances onto serving others. There are always people who can use a helping hand. So, enrich this holiday season for your family by getting involved in serving others.

6. Enjoy activities that are cheap or free. There are many good holiday-related activities that will add to your family’s enjoyment that are either free or low cost, such as driving around to look at Christmas decorations, decorating your home together as a family, baking Christmas cookies, going window-shopping, or playing in the snow (or on the beach if you live in Southern California!)

7. Enjoy a family holiday tradition. Traditions provide opportunities to keep your family’s legacy going. They create meaningful memories. So, from the silly to the sentimental, if your family has established Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions, if possible, be sure to include them in your holiday activity plans.

8. Try something new. Traditions are great, but sometimes families find themselves in a rut, celebrating the holidays in exactly the same fashion, year after year. And, this can result in your family experiencing a holiday funk. So, think about finding a new way to celebrate the holiday season this year. You may just create a new tradition that will keep going for generations!

9. Spend money responsibly. Thanks to our culture and the well-thought-out marketing strategies by retailers, the holiday season always brings with it a big temptation to spend lots of money especially when it comes to purchasing Christmas presents for your family. Don’t be afraid to say no to this temptation. The following is simple, but good advice for every family: Don’t spend beyond your means and don’t rack up significant credit card debt! While your family may be thrilled by expensive gifts on Christmas Day, don’t forget that come springtime, your kids may well have laid aside or forgotten those gifts, even while you’re struggling to make the payments. Decide now to be financially responsible this holiday season!

10. Carve out some time for yourself! Don’t take on all of the responsibilities of your family’s holiday celebrations by yourself. Share the load. For example, assign responsibilities to your family members for the preparation and clean up of your Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. Create some space during the holidays for you to recharge your own batteries.

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Jim Burns

Jim Burns is the president of HomeWord. He speaks to thousands of people around the world each year. He has close to 2 million resources in print in 20 languages. He primarily writes and speaks on the values of HomeWord, which are: Strong Marriages, Confident Parents, Empowered Kids, and Healthy Leaders. Some of his most popular books are: Confident Parenting, The Purity Code, Creating an Intimate Marriage, Closer, and Doing Life with Your Adult Children. Jim and his wife, Cathy, live in Southern California and have three grown daughters, Christy, Rebecca, and Heidi; three sons-in-law, Steve and Matt, and Andy; and three grandchildren, James, Charlotte and Huxley.

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