Sex, Drugs, and Media part 3

(This is part 3 of a seven-part series)

Sex and Sexuality

Your children deserve honest, open, blunt and unashamedly biblical answers in the area of sex and sexuality. Cathy and I often went back to the list we made at our six-month meeting and then looked for informal times and teachable moments to introduce the truths we hoped to incorporate into our kids’ lives.

Your interaction with your children must be age-appropriate and consistent. Books on child development and sex education will help you figure out what to talk about at what age. Don’t be like the mother who was greeted by her seven-year-old son one day after school with, “Mom, what is sex?” The mother was shocked that the question came when he was still so young. Where is my husband when I need him? she thought.

Mom decided to face her fear and just go ahead and tell him everything. She pulled out a plate of cookies and a glass of milk and proceeded to give her son “the sex talk.” She drew pictures. She gave proper names and functions of each intimate aspect of sex. Her son didn’t say a word but listened intently—with his eyes as big as saucers—while finishing off all the cookies. Finally, after a very intense 45 minutes, the mother asked, “Son, do you have any questions?”

“Yeah, Mom, just one. I still don’t know what I am supposed to write on my soccer form where it says ‘Sex: Please circle M or F.’” He wasn’t ready for the whole story; he just wanted to understand what he was supposed to write on the application!

Cathy and I created the following list of topics—relating to sex, dating and sexuality—to talk with our girls when they were younger. Keep in mind that sex education starts early and continues with age-appropriate disclosure throughout adolescence.

• Appropriate touch and inappropriate touch
• What the Bible says about sex and sexuality
• Definition of puberty
• Changes in hair and body, including body size and shape
• Menstrual periods
• Sexual organs
• Emotions
• Sexual attraction
• Infatuation versus real love
• Masturbation
• Pornography
• Sexual abuse, harassment and teasing
• Sexual intercourse
• Virginity
• Why wait?
• Pregnancy
• Dangers of premarital sexual relationships
• Partying
• The cultural influence of sex and sexuality
• Abstinence and purity
• How far is too far?
• Dating
• Homosexuality
• HIV/AIDS and other STDs

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Jim Burns

Jim Burns is the president of HomeWord. He speaks to thousands of people around the world each year. He has close to 2 million resources in print in 20 languages. He primarily writes and speaks on the values of HomeWord, which are: Strong Marriages, Confident Parents, Empowered Kids, and Healthy Leaders. Some of his most popular books are: Confident Parenting, The Purity Code, Creating an Intimate Marriage, Closer, and Doing Life with Your Adult Children. Jim and his wife, Cathy, live in Southern California and have three grown daughters, Christy, Rebecca, and Heidi; three sons-in-law, Steve and Matt, and Andy; and three grandchildren, James, Charlotte and Huxley.

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