The Power of “I’m Sorry” in Your Marriage

I really liked this blog by Joanna Teigen. Joanna and her husband, Rob have a great website at Powerful words of healing through confession.

The Power of “I’m Sorry” in Your Marriage

You know things are “off” between you. That cutting remark still stings. Time passes with a promise unfulfilled for another day. Loyalties are divided, and you’re at the bottom of your spouse’s list. Little irritations feel like major offenses as they add to the burden of hurts you carry.  You avoid eye contact and seek distraction through work and busyness. Nights are lonely as you sleep with your backs turned, refusing to touch.

You tally a  list of your spouse’s failures and betrayals in your mind. The same old accusations and defenses replay in the fights that flare up without warning. In your heart, you’re longing for a heartfelt I’m sorry to thaw the ice between you.

You feel let down.



Today, it might feel like a thick wall is dividing you and your spouse. No one is willing to tear down the first brick to come together. But the truth is, you hold a weighty sledgehammer in your hand. Use the power of confession to break through to one another again.

Confession invites truth into your marriage.

It chooses to get brutally real, declaring, “This was the destructive choice I made. This was my selfish motive. My words, attitudes, and decisions made an impact on you and our relationship. These are the ways I failed to love you well. This is how I caused pain and why I know it was wrong.” Confession lays you bare as you name your failure and take responsibility for the outcome. No minimizing, no excuses, and no lies.

Confession opens the door to reconciliation.

It takes a bold step closer to the one you love. Confession rebuilds broken trust and humbly asks for mercy. It says, “I hurt because I hurt you.” It allows your wounded loved one to feel heard and understood. Teamwork happens as you both resolve to choose a better way going forward. Your spouse finds safe space to share whatever form of comfort and reassurance is needed. A spark of hope is lit so you can rekindle your love.

Confession brings healing.

When met with grace, it restores the relationship. Confession sets things right with God, because “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 It puts the past behind you, setting you free from shame, secrets, and regret. The words I’m truly sorry are sweet medicine for your souls, moving you toward the beautiful oneness God created you to experience.

Today, humble your hearts to draw close and say I’m sorry. Offer open, sincere confession and forgiveness to one another. Find freedom from guilt, shame, and regret. Receive compassion in each other’s arms. Let God do a powerful work of healing to make your marriage close and joyful again.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16

This article first appeared here.

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Rob and Joanna Teigen

We’ve celebrated more than 25 years of marriage and are loving life with five awesome kids, plus a beautiful daughter-in-law. We share an addiction to coffee, bookstores, and Christmas music. We debate whether two dogs are enough and who should win “The Voice” every season. We’re a neat-freak married to a mess, an explorer to a homebody, and an introvert to a ‘people person.’ But we do agree that our vows are for always, children are a gift, and prayer is powerful.

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